Damita Jo (Virgin, 2004) by Janet Jackson

This is a bad album.  I was a huge fan of the predecessor, but this album seems like it was trying too hard.  All For You is a sexually suggestive album by one of the sexiest women ever.  Its follow up, however, leaves next to nothing to the imagination and comes across as gratuitous.  The one record that's half-way descent is "Strawberry Bounce" which samples Jay-Z's "Can I Get A…"

G-Unit Radio Vol. 6: Motion Picture Shit (N/A, 2004) by DJ Whoo Kid

"10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1/Ready or not here we come, here comes trouble in the club11, 12, 13, pistols big as M 16's/How the fuck we sneak in with this many heaters in our jeans/Nina, 2 nina's, a peace and they don't even see us/Some shit pops off we squeeze each one they gon' think its machine guns/Vanos vo vano, bananas in our flannels/Hands around our colt handles, hold them like roman candles/Vannas vo vannas, banana fanna fo fannas/Who come back all bananas, banana clips loaded/Managers, bouncers and the club owners, the motherfuckers dont want us/To come up and rush in the club and run up in it with a bunch of/Motherfuckers from Runyan, steady poppin them onions/Ready set to go nut up, prepare to tear the whole club up/Fixin to get into some shit just itchin to choke someone up/You know we finna loc'n when we mix coke with coke and nut rum up/Yeah Yeah oh, what up, see my people throw shit up/See you talk that hoe shit now when you down and wont get up/And can't sit up your so slit up, the ambulance wont sew you up/They just throw you up in the trunk once they tag your big toe up/Heater no heater, automatic no matic/Mac or no mac it dont matter if I have or dont have it/You never know what im packin' so you just dont want no static/And open up a whole can of whoop ass you dont wanna chance to/Risk it no biscuit, mili mac a mac milli/Really homie dont be silly, homie you dont know me really/You're just gonna make yourself dizzy wonderin what the dealy/Fuck it lets just get busy D Twizzys back up in the hizzy!"

-Eminem, "10, 9, 8, 7"

Clones (Star Trak, 2003) by The Neptunes

The greatest strength of this project is that it demonstrates The Neptunes versatility as a production team.  No two tracks sound alike and each beat brings out the strong points of each featured artist.  The weaker point of this album is that none of the instrumentals are the best that The Neptunes have to offer.  Even if the album is a fun listen (which it is), nothing comes close to "Got Your Money" or "Best U Can."

HITstory (N/A, 2012) by Hit-Boy

Considering how skilled Hit-Boy is as a producer, it was very impressive to hear him be able to rap with great ability as well.  He is first and foremost a producer, and he plays to those strengths by enlisting the help of other rappers such as Big Sean and Kid Cudi.  But Hit-Boy can definitely hold his own on the mic, my two favorite songs are ones he does by himself, "East Vs. West" and "Jay-Z Interview."

Unpredictable (J, 2005) by Jamie Foxx

I was actually a little disappointed with Unpredictable.  Considering Jamie Foxx won an Oscar for playing Ray Charles, I expected more sophistication.  The actual singing is good and the production is solid.  But the content is every cliche that Hip-Hop and contemporary R&B had fed into for the past fifteen years.  In a nut shell, Ludacris' guest verse on "Unpredictable" is the album's best moment.

Life Is… Too Short (Jive, 1990) by Too Short

In my opinion, this is Too Short's best album.  Everything about it is cool.  The album cover, the lyrics, the production.  It is also very well-rounded in terms of content.  It has his trademark pimp talk as well as his social commentary.  I really dig the way the title track was paid homage to as well on UGK's album from just a couple years ago when it was covered and updated with Short Dog himself.  Although Short was not the most talented rapper in the late 80s/early 90s, he was certainly one of the most charismatic.

What Am I Doing in New Jersey? (Atlantic, 1989) by George Carlin

This 5-track LP covers a lot of ground.  However, there are two routines that really stand out to me.  The first is the lengthy last cut that discusses various aspects of driving.  Topics include bumper stickers, people who don't use blinkers properly, cyclists on the road, and license plates.  It's long, but packs a lot of laughs so it's totally worth it.  The other cut, which really stands out, is about politics.  But George took it in another direction and instead of focusing on actual politicians, he discusses the strange culture that policies and procedures have created in American life.  My favorite George Carlin quote ever appears here when he says, "America was founded by slave owners who wanted to be free."

My Love: Essential Collection (Columbia, 2008) by Celine Dion

My Love is a great compilation album that does a wonderful job of spanning Celine's career.  Between the Titanic soundtrack and the R. Kelly album, I've got a few of the Celine tracks that I like.  Fortunately, this collection grabs a few others.  "Beauty and the Beast" and "Because You Loved Me" are classics that I'm now proud to have purchased and keep in my iTunes library.

The S. Carter Collection (N/A, 2003) by Jay-Z

“Hey nobody dumpin' on hove/You ain’t in sanitation or sanitarium/What are you crazy Jay-Z’ll bury em/I'll get you drug out the club they have to carry em/Your head bug out I'll raid niggas scared of em/Worry I'm not Mike Jordan/Of the mic recording/Hovi’ baby you Kobe, maybe Tracy McGrady/Matter fact you Harold Miner, J.R. Rider/Washed up on marijuana/Even worse you a Purvis Ellis/You worthless fella/You ain't no athlete you Shawn Bradley/I ain’t talkin' to nobody in particular/My flow just vehicular homicide when I’m kitchen em/Yes, anybody in my path Is a car crash waiting to happen/Nigga what?/I got my foot on the throat of the pulse of this rap game and I ain’t letting up/Yea who’s the nicest life of lifeless mic devices?/And I don't write this I just mic this/I will it to happen/One take hove I’m real in this rapping/My new name is just the facts/While the rest of y'all just adjust the facts/Put words together, just to match/I say what I feel y’all adjust to that/I do the opposite of y’all so I just attract/The realer audience usually unjustly black/Know my flow and the shit they go just match/Like the sound of my voice and a choice just track/I just tackle the something the flack of the public/Nothing, I know real niggas happen to love it/If you don’t like it or look in the mirror/Most likely you ain’t living so you don’t get it/You ain’t did it so you can envision it/The picture I’m painting ain't vivid/The language I’m spitting is so foreign to ya/She was starving a dude to ya/Growin up hard in a little apartment allude to ya/I’m just talkin’ to ya/ I’m just talkin’ through ya”

-Jay-Z, "Pump It Up Freestyle"

Tupac Resurrection Soundtrack (Amaru, 2003) by 2Pac

This is really more of a compilation album than a soundtrack, a few songs don't even appear in the movie.  However, they're still great records that prove the staying power of Tupac's music ("Holler If Ya Hear Me," "Bury Me a G" to name a few).  "Runnin' [Dyin' to Live]" is the crown jewel of this album.  It's one of the best songs Eminem has ever produced (props to "Lose Yourself" as well).  Unfortunately, Loyal to  the Game which also paired Em's production with 2pac's beats wasn't quite as good in my opinion.

Love Always (MCA, 1997) by K-Ci & JoJo

This album is pretty much a one-hit project.  However, the song that was a hit is totally worth the cost of an entire album.  "All My Life" has a jazz pop melody that is absolutely amazing.  It is also a song that I have many fond memories of slow dancing to when I was in France while I was in Fifth Grade.  In my opinion, it's one of the greatest pop songs of the 90s and will continue to hold up for a long time to come.

Can't Stay Away (Jive, 1999) by Too Short

Short Dog's first post-retirement album is a descent "comeback" album, but it relies a little too heavily on the then-current scene on late 90s rappers to draw an audience instead of just giving Too Short fans what it is that they'd been missing for three years.  There is a bit of that with "More Freaky Tales," Can't Stay Away," and "Ain't No Bitches."  But the CD is 17 tracks long, and so that still leaves 14 more tracks that could've taken a different approach in order to make the album not as spotty.

The Top Part (Comedy Central, 2009) by John Mulaney

He is a funny guy and this is a great album.  He has a knack for storytelling, and his humor is very observational based on his specific experiences and interests.  From being critical of peoples' fascination with the film Scarface to his passion for the show Law and Order.  It's all funny and fresh because it's unique.  My favorite line on the whole album is, "I miss Jerry Orbach more than certain dead relatives of mine."  Mulaney's a good comic and writer; I'll definitely start following his work.

Midnight Marauders (Jive, 1993) by A Tribe Called Quest

Tribe's third album is fantastic; they're one of the only groups who put out three classic albums in a row (props to Run-D.M.C. and Outkast as well).  This album, though not at widely remembered as The Low End Theory, is just as good.  "Oh My God" is an excellent beat, and "Lyrics to Go" is absolutely amazing.  This is also an album that needs to be played from beginning to end.  It really is an experience listening to this album.  I think it's cool that the Wayans Bros. used "Electric Relaxation"  at the opening of their show too.

Mr. Scarface is Back (Rap-A-Lot, 1991) by Scarface

This album is another one that has tremendous sentimental value to me.  When I was learning to rap; I couldn't.  However, I could, kinda, sort of write.  I was also really inspired by hardcore Hip-Hop at the time.  To demonstrate free expression and concepts, the producer I was working with played me Scarface's debut.  He really emphasized the last track, "I'm Dead."  I was really moved by it and later realized the influence that he perhaps had on rappers that came along later in the 90s such as Biggie and Jay-Z.

The Dude (Rap-A-Lot, 1998) by Devin The Dude

"Hey, hey what do you say?/Tell me have you ever been fucked this way?/Hoo hoo, what you gon' do/When I shove this dick in you?/Hee hee, what do you see?/Have you ever saw big nuts like these?/Ho ho, what do you know?/Let me bust one of 'em and then go"

-Devin the Dude, "Bust One for Ya"

LAX (Geffen, 2008) by The Game

Game's third album is not his strongest, but it still has some very strong points.  "Game's Pain" is a solid homage to Hip-Hop's elder statesmen.  And even with Lil Wayne's recycled hook on "My Life," Game still drops great lyrics (My mind fucked up, so I cover it with a Raider hood/I'm from the city that made you motherfuckers afraid of Suge).  The weakness to this album, in my opinion, is that it isn't as cohesive as his other albums.  It plays more like a collection of songs than a set of songs that go together and that makes the nineteen tracks seem very long-winded.  Overall, it's a descent album, but when compared with the rest of Game's catalogue, I'd put it in the bottom half.

Straight Outta Lynwood (Volcano, 2006) by Weird Al Yankovic

Straight Outta Lynwood is actually one of my favorites that Weird Al has ever released.  "White and Nerdy" is hilarious and makes it clear that Al really can rap.  "Confessions Part III" and "Canadian Idiot" are also very clever parodies.  The 180 degree turn that Al takes with Taylor Hicks' "Do I Make You Proud" to "Do I Creep You Out" is great too.  The best song on the album though, I think, is "Trapped in the Drive-Thru."  It takes R. Kelly's already kind of ridiculous soap-opera of a song and makes a very funny spoof of it.

King Baby (Comedy Central, 2009) by Jim Gaffigan

This is a great album.  It has everything that has made Gaffigan one of the most noteworthy comics in the last decade.  It has his "voice," his humorous everyman observations, as well as more classic humor about food.  "Bacon", "Bowling", and "Camping" are all excellent bits.  And the album, as whole, has no filler.  It does run a bit long, but that's okay.  It entertaining all the way through.  Another thing I like about this album, as well as all of Gaffigan's other releases, is that it doesn't have skits that divide the stand-up.

Ridin' Dirty (Jive, 1996) by UGK

Bun B is an incredible rapper; there's no doubt about that.  And so the great thing about this album is the production.  Pimp C's production is a breath of fresh air- it's real music and that creates a great juxtaposition to the gritty raps.  Content-wise, it isn't much difference from other rap cliches.  However, it's not the west coast funk or the heavy bass that's often apparent in the south.  Therefore, it ultimately creates something that hasn't really been heard before.  I think it's an incredible album and it's one that I always play straight through from beginning to end.

You Are All Diseased (Eardrum, 1999) by George Carlin

Carlin's most famous routine is obviously "Seven Words You Can't Say on Television," but I think another one that he will be remembered for is "There is No God."  In this particular routine, he logically explains many faults in organized religion.  But Carlin, of course, puts his own cynical twist on it and makes his criticisms smart and funny.  Other shorter bits that are very strong are "Angels" and "TV Tonight."  His complaints about kids and airport security are also noteworthy.  Overall, it's not Carlin's best album.  However, it is definitely in the upper echelon of them.

Two Drink Mike (Comedy Central, 2006) by Mike Birbiglia

This is my favorite Mike Birbiglia album.  "Hip Hop Annimosity" is very funny.  I also like his overall delivery and humor is stream of consciousness.  It allows him to cover a wide variety of subjects in a quick period of time.  Not everyone could pull that off, but Mike does.  His delivery is also bit more narrative than just straight joke telling.  I really enjoy that too.  Although his comedy style is somewhat reminiscent of Steven Wright, Birbiglia clearly has a voice of his own and that is very entertaining as well.

Naughty by Nature (Tommy Boy, 1991) by Naughty By Nature

"Some get a little and some get none/Some catch a bad one and some leave the job half done/I was one who never had and always mad/Never knew my dad, motherfuck the fag/Well, anyway, I did pick ups, flipped the clip up/Too many stick-ups, 'cause niggas had the trigger hic-ups/I couldn't get a job, nappy hair was not allowed/My mother couldn't afford us all, she had to throw me out/I walked the strip, which is a clip, who wanna hit?/They got 'em quick, I had to eat, this money's good as spent/I threw in graves, I wasn't paid enough/I kept 'em long 'cause I couldn't afford a haircut/I got laughed at, I got chumped, I got dissed/I got upset, I got a Tec and a banana clip/Was down to throw the led to any tellin' crackhead/I'd still a' been broke, so a lot of good it woulda did/Or done, if not for bad luck, I would have none/Why did I have to live a life of such a bad one/Why when I was a kid and played out was a sad one/And always wanted to live like just a fat one"

-Treach, "Everything's Gonna Be Alright"

Untitled (Def Jam, 2008) by Nas

As controversial as this album was at the time of its release, it has held up over the years.  There are so many great cuts here: "Hero," America," Sly Fox" Y'all My N****s," "We're Not Alone," and "Black President."  I remember when President Obama was elected in 2008 and driving to work at school early in the morning and blasting "Black President" all the way.  Regardless of the alleged ghostwriting claims that have emerged recently, it doesn't change my opinion that Nas is one of the best lyricists ever.  Over twenty years in Hip-Hop, and Mr. Jones is still going strong.  Much respect due.

Home Invasion (Rhyme $yndicate, 1993) by Ice-T

As of now, I think this is Ice-T's last great album.  For my money, he put out five fantastic albums in a row and he's one of the few to do so.  From the opening line about Charleston Heston, it's clear that Ice-T's is going in on his trademark political raps.  "Gotta Lotta Love" was a great single and I really liked "99 Problems."  Because Rick Rubin is the master of remakes (see also "Hurt" and "Walk This Way"), Jay-Z's 2003 version is a classic.  But that swagger Jay-Z adapted to bring the heat in '03 was all Ice a decade earlier.

Made (Rap-A-Lot, 2007) by Scarface

In my opinion, this is Scarface's best solo album since The Fix.  "Never" is a great record and "Boy Meets Girl" is an intense metaphor wherein a drug addiction is compared to a romance.  The other standout track here is the single, "Girl You Know."  Nottz's use of the Lenny Williams' sample was phenomenal.  Lyrically, Scarface has always been one of my favorites and this album is another reason why.

We Can't Be Stopped (Rap-A-Lot, 1991) by Geto Boys

The album's cover art is breath-taking and says so much about the Geto Boys at that time.  Bushwick Bill was shot in the eye during a fight with his girlfriend.  Therefore, things were aggressive and personal.  The album's best song is obviously "Mind Playin' Tricks on Me," but the album is not a one trick pony.  "I'm Not a Gentleman" is a response to Queen Latifah's "Ladies First," "Chuckie" pays respect to Child's Play and "Fuck a War" criticizes George Bush Senior and was inspired by a relative of Bushwick Bill's going to war in the Persian Gulf.  "I Ain't With Being Broke" is a great record as well.  We Can't Be Stopped isn't as good as The Resurrection, but is still a very solid project from Houston's finest.

The Ecleftic: 2 Sides to a Book (Columbia, 2000) by Wyclef Jean

After twelve years, this album certainly doesn't hold up as well as Clef's debut.  However, it still has its moments.  The two tracks that are most memorable to me are "911" with Mary J. Blige and "Diallo."  "Wish You Were Here" is also a clever ode to Pink Floyd.  Unfortunately, those few shining spots are unable to save the rest of the album.

Murder Was the Case Soundtrack (Death Row, 1994) by various

I remember I bought this album on my 8th grade East Coast trip in the summer of 2001.  Blink-182 had released a new LP too (props to them as well), and while many of my classmates purchased that, I rushed to the rap section and found this older release.  "Murder Was the Case" is one of Snoop's best songs ever, and the remix does it justice.  The biggest deal of the release though is "Natural Born Killaz"- a great reunion of Ice Cube and Dr. Dre.  Other noteworthy tracks are Nate Dogg's "One More Day" and Jodeci's "Come Up to My Room."  I remember on the last night of the trip, I listened to the album non-stop and burned through an entire set of batteries on my portable CD player.  Good times.